


Smitten

by poesflygirl



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Heavy Angst, Spoilers for S8 Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26105767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poesflygirl/pseuds/poesflygirl
Summary: You’ve been in love with your best friend, Alex Karev, since intern year. He keeps a secret from you that turns your entire world upside-down once it’s exposed.
Relationships: Alex Karev & Reader, Alex Karev x Reader, Alex Karev/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Smitten

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Major Grey’s spoilers for the s8 finale!!, cursing, screaming

“You ready to go?” you ask Alex, shrugging on your jacket and picking up your bag.

“Yeah. Never really been a fan of planes, though.” You raise an eyebrow, helping him pick up his bag.

“It’s just an hour and a half to Boise. We’ll be okay.”

“Alexander Michael Karev!” you hear Arizona yell from above you. Your head snaps up and you see her storming down the stairs in the midst of a now-silent surgical floor lobby. “Why did I hear from _Hunt_ that you’re going to Hopkins?”

“What? He’s not going to Hopkins.” She stomps her way over to you both, stopping resolutely in front of Alex.

“You didn’t even tell _her_? Of all people?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you step in between them, glaring Arizona down.

“Oh, of course you didn’t. You haven’t even confessed yet!”

“Confessed? What the hell is she going off about?” you ask him, turning to him with a stern look. The entire floor is staring at you three, but you don’t give a damn. What the hell was _Alex Karev_ , your best friend since intern year, not telling you?

“All right Arizona, I think that’s enough—”

“It’s Doctor Robbins. You no longer work here, so it’s _Doctor_. _Robbins_.” Her tone is enough to tell you that she’s definitely not kidding around. “I’m disappointed in you, Alex Karev.” Alex starts to say something but he closes his mouth and sighs, defeated. “Disappointed that you didn’t have the guts to tell me about Hopkins by yourself. Disappointed that you didn’t have the guts to tell her about—”

“Is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on?” you yell at both of them, shutting Arizona up. She shakes her head, putting her hands in the pockets of her white coat.

“He’s going to Hopkins,” she tells you, pulling her lower lip in between her teeth.

“I got that. But what’s the other thing. Confessing..?”

“I can’t baby him through everything. He has to learn how to be a man and tell you himself. I thought I’d taught him that during his time here, but apparently not.” The look of desperation and despair on Alex’s face is enough to shatter your heart into a thousand pieces. “You’re not going to Boise.”

“What? You can’t do that—”

“You no longer represent this hospital, so I’m going in place of you.” She grabs the bag off his shoulder, walking off and leaving just you both with the entire lobby staring at you two. You read the room, staying quiet and trying to just communicate with your eyes until the chatter starts up again.

“You’re leaving? For Hopkins?” your voice breaks, and you’re pretty sure the only reason you’re not already sobbing is because you’re so burnt out.

“Yeah.” He shifts uncomfortably, looking down.

“And you didn’t even tell me?” His head snaps back up, eyes softening at the tears already rolling down your face. “We’re practically joined at the hip, and you really didn’t tell me? Do I mean nothing to you?”

“No, no! That’s not it.”

“Then give me a valid reason as to why you’re leaving, Alex. Give me one reason.” Nothing comes out of his mouth and you chuckle a bit, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Right.”

“New dreams,” he blurts out. _I want to be your new dream, Alex. I want to be your new dream._ “I’ve done so much at Seattle Grace, but it’s time for me to find a new place. I’ve done what I want to here. It’s time for me to chase new dreams. Look at the good.” you would’ve laughed had you not been crying this hard.

“I guess that’s the good, huh? You get to go find ‘new dreams’? What about us? Seattle Grace is just… disposable? We’re disposable? _I’m_ disposable?” The tears are falling harder than ever now, and you don’t even make an effort to wipe them away. Alex starts to put his arms around you but you back off and raise a hand, signaling him to not. He sighs but he shoves his hands in his pockets.

“You’re not disposable, sweetheart.” You let out a sob at the nickname, flashing back to when he’d first called you that. He always used it in a platonic way, a way of showing how close you two were. “The exact opposite.”

“It’s not really looking like that,” you mutter, voice choking in your throat. You can spot Meredith and Cristina eyeing you wearily, needing to tell you that you guys were going to be late but not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on. “I need to go.”

“Can we at least talk when you get back?” he offers, and you almost say yes.

“Are you even going to be here when we get back?” He winces at the menace laced into your words, but you don’t even feel a shred of remorse. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is, because I—” you walk off before he can finish, sniffling and wiping the tears out of your eyes.

“Are you sure you can go?” you hear Meredith offer as you walk past her and Cristina. Giving into your emotions, you turn your head and take one last look at Alex, all the memories flashing right before your eyes. All you want to do is run into his arms and tell him you love him, that you’ve loved him since intern year.

But your pride doesn’t let you.

“Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“You didn’t tell him, did you?” Derek interrupts your thoughts and you break your gaze with the clouds, looking at his figure now leaning on the seat in front of yours. You sigh, not wanting to get into this right now but needing to tell someone. Who better to tell than Derek? At least he was listening.

“No, I didn’t,” is all you offer him, crossing your arms and wincing at the sharp pain in your head that had formed as a result of crying for ten minutes in the bathroom.

“You have to tell him soon enough.”

“I know. But if he doesn’t love me, then what’s the point? Just to humiliate myself? Ruin our friendship?” He tilts his head, allowing himself to sit down in the seat next to you.

“What if he does love you? What would that bring?” You start to talk but stop, never having asked yourself that question. Sure, you’ve envisioned a life with him countless times, but you’ve never really asked yourself what would happen if he did love you back. “Call him,” he encourages with a smile, patting your shoulder before getting up and returning to his seat. 

You sigh, pulling your phone out of your bag and hovering over Alex’s number. He’d always been first on speed dial since the mishap at Joe’s Bar during intern year. He’d changed the setting himself, and you hadn’t put anyone over him—both on the caller list and in real life—ever since. Gathering all your confidence, you make sure your phone is connected to the plane’s WiFi and hit the call button. It rings and rings and rings, but you know that if he doesn’t pick it up after the first six beeps, he’s not going to. You waste some time wondering whether or not you should leave him a voicemail, just listening to the ringing and wondering what the hell he’s doing.

“Hey! This is Doctor Alex Karev. I’m probably sleeping or in surgery or something, so just leave a message at the beep if you need anything and I’ll get back to you.” You smile at hearing his voice once more, clearing your throat before you hear the beep to start recording.

“Alex, it’s… It’s me. Listen, there’s something I need to tell you—that I’ve needed to tell you for a while. Actually, we’ll talk when we get back.” You nearly press the end call button before laughing at yourself and putting the phone back up to your ear. “No, you know what? I have to tell you this. I’ve been waiting years, actual _years_ , to tell you this. I love you. And I don’t know if that changes what we have for the better or for the worse, but I love you. I’ve loved you with all my heart since intern year, and I’m not going to stop loving you. So if you want to stop talking after you move to Hopkins, fine. But if you love me back… _stay_. Stay, for me. Stay so we can be together and do all the cheesy couple shit we always stayed up late talking about with beer bottles in our hands. Stay so we can have late night talks about our hopes and dreams for the future with each other in them. Stay so we can find new dreams _together_. Okay?” The weight of what you just said hits you hard in the chest and you press the “end call” button, a bit stunned at what the hell you just did. It’s only then do you notice Arizona smiling in the aisle seat next to yours, and you realize she’d been eavesdropping.

“Arizona!”

“What?” she asks, turning to look at you and holding back a smile.

“It’s not very polite to listen in on people’s conversations,” you chide her, making her chuckle.

“I know, I know. You two… You two are going to be the next Derek and Mer. I can feel it.”

“That’s a bit of an overstatement,” you remark with raised eyebrows. “You know who’s going to be the next Derek and Mer? Lexie and Mark. Those two idiots just need to put everything aside and focus on each other.” She nods in agreement, peeking her head out into the aisle to look at where Sloan was sitting down near the front of the plane.

“You remind me of how I was when I met Callie. Smitten. By her looks, her charm, everything.” You rest your head back against the seat.

“I like that. Smitten.”


End file.
